On music and standing up...

So, I never did see her. I'd secured tickets to the Anna Calvi gig and she flaked out some time in the afternoon. ifyourfeelingsinster does not like flaking out, especially on a first date situation. It's not a sexy trait.

The excuse she gave was that she was out partying all night and had just got home. Now I like to party myself, nothing wrong with that at all, but please, give me a bit of credit. So I went to the gig alone. I ran into some friends, made the peace with someone I fell out with years ago and had an utter ball. I also ran into a girl who I spanked so hard she couldn't sit down the next day, but that's by the by.

When the music started it was amazing - a mid point between Edith Piaf and PJ Harvey - and I was raging, because that would have been perfect first date music. It made a bee-line to the groin and there was no way after seeing that that the night was going to end up in separate taxis. It would have ended in seriously animalistic sex, some bruises and a shared breakfast in the local greasy spoon.

And that's got me thinking about the sex music. I've shared houses for the past 12 years and it's common courtesy to fire up a few tunes in the bedroom to mask the grunts and groans. And occasional slap.

I once danced the dance as old as time while Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of War of the Worlds played in the background. I can recall the click and the hiss of the hipster girl's dansette as the record was not turned over, due to distractions. I remember seeing my first ever real life set of boobies, as Oh Yeah by Ash was on the stereo. (I didn't get anything more that night, she was acting like a pornstar, then informed me that she'd never did this before, it wasn't her and I had to cuddle.)

Me, if given the choice, I favour Post Rock, no lyrics, no distractions, but Grace by Jeff Buckley is another good choice. Serge Gainsbourg or Leonard Cohen for the really filthy girls and any other time, it's lady's choice. I recall bringing a girl back who was a 'big U2 fan'. All my U2 was pre-All That You Can't Leave behind. (Infact, it was mostly pre-Joshua Tree, except for Achtung Baby, which is required.) and it kinda fizzled out after that.

I remember in my student days, I met a girl. We were flirting and PJ Harvey was in the background. She looked at me, I looked at her and she bit her bottom lip. Now, This is Love is one of the most stridently sexual songs I know. It took me 3 weeks but I finally found her in my bed. After the dust settled, she said to me, 'Remember when PJ was playing, that lyric, 'I just want to sit here and watch you undress'?

'That's what I was thinking. I want to kiss you.' I thought, 'hey we've been kissing all night'. Then pulled the sheets up and lowered herself.

Then I was taken.