First post proper.

I mean, how do you broach the subject? You've met, you've maybe went home and nature has taken its course, in a dance as old as time itself. You've had the safe little movie date where you don't really have to talk, you've had the expensive dinner date and that glorious little night where the both of you get utterly cunted on booze, giggle the night away and get chucked out of the bar because it's well after kicking out time and the bouncer is pissed off. You stagger home, fumble and pass out, leaving the door open for some lovely, woozy hangover sex. But, at the risk of sounding too Sex and the City how do you tell the latest what exactly you're into? (I'm not typing this out, sat on my bed in my pants, by the way.)

I once had a great one night stand. I was visiting friends and due back back home two days later when a girl lured me back to hers. I was lost in an unknown city and she said there was wine in the fridge, I could crash at hers and there were people coming back for a party. Yes, there was wine. Yes I crashed at hers. But for some reason no-one else showed... After the first session she said, 'the thing I hate about these one night stands (nice touch, the parameters have been set) is that you can't really get kinky'. Oh yeah? It was then that I realised that girls who keep scarves tied onto their headboard don't do it for decoration.

I've seen more blatant examples since - a pair of handcuffs attached to the bedpost isn't really isn't the subtlest of comments to be making when choosing the accessories for your sleeping quarters, but it can swing both ways. Summer before last I met a girl, we dated briefly, she said, post-coitus, 'my friend said she met this guy, wanted to tie her up, I'd never be into that.' Maybe she knew, somewhere deep down, that that was my thing. And setting boundaries is perfectly acceptable. We drifted apart, although I think it had little to do with that. She had ex-issues, I had my own problems, but less than six months later she was engaged.

The nicest surprise was with a long term girlfriend. It was DVD night, Takeaway food and a bottle of nice wine, my flatmate out working late that night and the house to ourselves. Two DVDs, getting to pick one each and curled up on the sofa. My choice was first. I found out she'd never seen Heathers. For shame, I'd eat off my left arm to meet Winona in the early 90's. She was an Edward Scissorhands fan and I knew she'd go mad for it. Then her choice. Secretary. I'd never seen it.

Well. That was me. Hard on for most of the film. Then when the credits rolled, she looked up. Gave me a filthy look. Then presented herself across my lap, in the style of Lee with her ineffective boyfriend. Hiked her skirt up, pulled down her tights. She never liked wearing knickers.