I'm back, sorry, folks!

Hey, it's been a while. I'm sorry, but it's the nature of the beast when it comes to the industry that I work in that December doesn't happen for me. The decks are cleared, the diary torn up and friends are apologised to later on, but December is definitely out the window. Add to that a recent bereavement and it's been quite some time since I was able to sit down to this.

What's happened since? A second boxing day vanilla fling with an older woman. It's the second year this has happened and she admitted she was looking forward to it. The last two times have been drunken things, but this was the first real experience I've had of the NSA thing. We both knew each other, both single (well, she's waiting on her divorce and has been for nearly two years) and both are kinda compatible between the sheets, so we arranged wine, music and a jaunt round to mine.

And it was great, fun and there are no regrets. She called it her 'Christmas treat' and afterwards we left with fond farewells. But It was still a bit strange. The arrangements were made by phone and by facebook, and very satisfactory they were too, but seemed a bit staid, a bit clinical. Still good though, but I think that might take a wee bit of getting used to.

Anyhoo, other events have included quitting smoking and the aforementioned bereavement which, frankly I'd rather not go into here, being outside of the parameters of the blog. But it's not entirely irrelevant to the post so bear with me.

I was in the gym the other day, partly out of taking my mind off the cravings, partly out of frustration at the bereavement and I'd hit the treadmill pretty hard. I upped the kph, hit a good whack on the gradient and fired up the iPod. Sometime about 20 minutes into the session, the music is pumping and I hit what is known as 'the zone'. And euphoria kicks in.

Up until then it was painful, lungs burning, legs cramping and then, out of no-where the endorphins kick in. Suddenly it's lighter than air, it's like (ahem) walking on sunshine and, while it's still the same body, it now becomes easy. I can handle anything that's thrown at me. This goes on for a good 15 minutes longer than I would normally do and when I come off, I'm in a mess, legs cramping, shuddering, glowing but feeling alive.

I'd never really realised why people want to get spanked, but there and then, it clicked. I've referred to my gym sessions as 'beastings', often undertaken after a heavy night on the beer. It's been a punishment thing, thinking the likes of, 'oh right, ''Yeah, I'll go to the party, just for a bit sure'', well, that's another 10 minutes!'. It was fundamentally masochistic behavior, but directed in a positive manner. (dropped 2 stone since this time last year, boom!)

I'm not saying I'll be taking it up in the bedroom anytime soon, but the insight was fantastic, and hopefully will take me into a better, more informed place.

And I promise it won't be so long til the next time.